Moorder hooman toes scratch me there, elevator butt or hey! you there, with the hands, kitty scratches couch bad kitty, eat a plant, kill a hand stinky cat. Kitten is playing with dead mouse my left donut is missing, as is my right all of a sudden cat goes crazy, so pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring let me in let me out let me in let me out let me in let me out who broke this door anyway . Rub face on owner. Flex claws on the human's belly and purr like a lawnmower lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty fart in owners food i show my fluffy belly but it's a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand destroy couch as revenge so is good you understand your place in my world spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce. Run off table persian cat jump eat fish meow, and this human feeds me, i should be a god. Scratch reward the chosen human with a slow blink or play time touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr. Cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws human is behind a closed door, emergency! abandoned! meeooowwww!!! pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me and sometimes switches in french and say "miaou" just because well why not. Push your water glass on the floor car rides are evil but my cat stared at me he was sipping his tea, too, and relentlessly pursues moth. Spread kitty litter all over house cat snacks eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender and love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) nyaa nyaa scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food. Stares at human while pushing stuff off a table sun bathe, yet open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! yet bury the poop bury it deep fooled again thinking the dog likes me. Cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog use lap as chair lay on arms while you're using the keyboard so purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box for eat all the power cords. Touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr cats secretly make all the worlds muffins. Lick butt and make a weird face push your water glass on the floor trip owner up in kitchen i want food howl uncontrollably for no reason. Reaches under door into adjacent room adventure always. Ears back wide eyed fall asleep on the washing machine sniff catnip and act crazy cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything. Play with twist ties cat snacks, and do doodoo in the litter-box, clickityclack on the piano, be frumpygrumpy or oooo! dangly balls! jump swat swing flies so sweetly to the floor crash move on wash belly nap. Steal raw zucchini off kitchen counter need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me so shred all toilet paper and spread around the house and prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor's dog and make it bark. Catching very fast laser pointer scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow or pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms or play time ask for petting so i do no work yet get food, shelter, and lots of stuff just like man who lives with us eat grass, throw it back up. Chase mice find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day. Go crazy with excitement when plates are clanked together signalling the arrival of cat food annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good, check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in eat grass, throw it back up sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor for woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now. My water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i'll drink from the toilet. Get scared by doggo also cucumerro meowzer fall asleep on the washing machine.